Actor Stalking
by HP Slash Luv
Summary: Actor!AU. Sirius and Regulus are hiding behind a bush, hoping to meet James Potter.


**Written For:**

 **For Jas** (James/Regulus; [dialogue] "If we get caught, I'm throwing you under the bus.")

 **Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry: **Relay Word Race

 **Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry: **Performing Arts  
 _Task 2 - Write an actor/actress AU_

 **Are You Crazy Enough To Do It Challenge:  
** _299\. (pairing) James Potter/Regulus Black_

 **Friends Challenge:** TOW The Boob Job  
 _Prompt - Write about any member of the Black family._

xXx

 **Actor Stalking**

Regulus glared at Sirius. "I can't believe I let you talk me into this," he whispered fiercely as they hid behind a couple of bushes.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Come on. Where's your sense of adventure?"

Regulus didn't lose the sour look on his face. "If we get caught, I'm throwing you under the bus. You know that, right?"

Sirius chuckled. "I wouldn't expect anything less from you, but come on. You know you want to meet James Potter as much as I do. I might like all of his movies, but he's your number one celebrity crush."

Regulus fought down the blush. "Maybe," he conceded, "but people aren't supposed to meet their celebrity crushes. I was perfectly fine pining from a distance, admiring him in magazines and movies."

"James Potter broke up with his long-term boyfriend. You could be his rebound. Think about all of the hot sex you could have if you found some balls and approached him!"

Regulus internally cringed. Hearing his brother talk so casually about sex kind of made him sick to his stomach. "My sex life isn't any of your business, so refrain from talking about it, please, he said through gritted teeth, ignoring Sirius' muttering about Regulus' non-existing sex life. Instead, he asked, "How do you even know he'll be here?"

Sirius smirked. "Well, his bodyguard just happens to be best friends with my boyfriend. Remus coerced Frank into admitting that Potter likes to come here to relax."

"That's so unethical," Regulus mumbled.

"So, are you two hiding back here for any reason in particular?"

Regulus and Sirius both jumped and whirled around. There, in a hat and sunglasses stood a man, and despite the flimsy disguise, Regulus knew who it was.

Sirius wasn't as smart, though. "Yeah, an actor is supposed to be coming this way, and Regulus," he points his thumb at the younger Black, "wants to get a glimpse to see if he's interested in a roll in bed with him."

The disguised actor smirked and stared at Regulus.

Meanwhile, Regulus wanted to smack the back of his brother's head. He settled for massaging his forehead. "Sirius, you are an idiot."

"Huh?" Sirius ineloquently asked.

"Pardon my brother's stupidity, Mr. Potter. And _this_ wasn't my idea. In fact, I was perfectly happy never meeting you, but I decided to come to keep Sirius from doing anything _too_ outrageous and ending up in jail."

James leaned closer and stage-whispered, "I can see what you mean."

"Hey," Sirius yelled, affronted. Then, he must have realized the meaning behind Regulus' insult. "Wait, you're James Potter?"

James lowered his sunglasses a tad. "The one and only."

 _Sirius pushed Regulus forward. "My brother. Quite the looker, isn't he?"_

 _James appraised Regulus' body, and Regulus fought the urge to fidget under the actor's scrutiny. "Very much so."_

 _Regulus held up a hand. "I'm not interested in being a rebound."_

 _"Who says you'd be a rebound?" James asked._

 _"Well, you did just break up with your boyfriend a week ago, right?"_

 _James laughed. "Lucius and I? We weren't actually boyfriends. Our relationship was for publicity since we were starring in the same movie. He's not my type."_

 _Regulus stepped closer, and he wondered where his sudden bravery came from. "What is_ _your type?"_

 _James placed a finger on Regulus' chest and trailed it down his stomach. "Someone darker, someone a little less famous, and maybe someone who has an annoying brother."_

 _"Hey," Sirius interjected again, but they both ignored him._

 _"Weird," Regulus said._

 _"Yes, weird," James agreed._

 _They continued looking at each other, and Regulus thought that he might have to get a Sirius a really good thank you present for his interference._

 _Fin_

xXx

(word count: 616)


End file.
